Tuesday 12 July 2011

A story of a Changin' Wind #7

The stranger nodded in understanding. “What happened?”
Penny hesitated. Confiding to a stranger was against her grain - it was something she had never done before. But some of her friends said it helps. Some of her friends used to chat with people all time. Besides, the woman in front of her wasn’t exactly curious - she didn’t want to intrude. She was compassionate. She was empathetic. Perhaps she just was a good listener.
“It’s been all wrong since this morning”, Penny said. “I woke up and... well, I don’t like to being alone. Perhaps it’s been a dream I’ve made, I don’t know. It’s just that I felt alone, and I didn’t like it.”
“You have no boyfriend? Or girlfriend?”
“Nothing of the sort. I broke with my boyfriend a couple of months ago. It wasn’t particularly bad: our story didn’t work, that’s all. But sometimes I still miss it. The bed feels cold without him. Actually it is colder, but it also feels cold in a different sense. Like, bigger. Lonelier.”
“I see”, the stranger said.
“And then the hot water in the shower didn’t work, so I need to call the landlord, but he’s such an asshole, so I always delay calling him. Cold shower, then, and... you know, I love to have milk in my tea. But the milk was off and I hadn’t bought any yesterday. Damn it, it’s all so stupid!”
“It’s not. Small things can hurt us as much as big ones.”
“It doesn’t sound.. petty?”
The stranger smiled. “Not at all. Go on.”
“There were other small things. The rain. The wind. My boss: he’s not a bad guy, but he lives for his job, and he wants us to do the same, but I’d rather stay sane. I want to have a life. And...” Penny was feeling better. The weight on her soul was being lifted, word after word. So she decided to continue. “...and around midday Susan, my best friend, called me. She’s pregnant. Good news: she really wanted a baby.”
“What’s the problem, then?”
“I’m terribly happy for her. But I remembered the morning, how lonely I was. Susan wakes up with her husband, every day, and now, the baby. I’m happy for her, as I said, but...I’d like to be happy for myself, as well. Am I a bad person?”

[...to be continued!]

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